Making the difference..

What a hectic week it's been so far!!

It seems like everything is happening all at once! Have you ever felt like that?

I've been working for a new company for almost a month now. As is usually the case, things were slow to start, and I spent a lot of time messing around, goofing off, and just waiting for stuff to happen! After a while I realized that I needed to be more pro-active. I wanted to make the best of each day and try and find meaning in what I was doing. So, I did something that I haven't really done for a while.. I prayed.. Now, nobody ever showed me how, of told me why, I'm just fumbling along I guess.. And then - and please don't think I'm getting all preachy - things started to happen! Work literally poured in, and now I'm totally over-whelmed with work, but I LOVE IT!! Impossible deadlines, ridiculous workloads, and difficult customers, finally, I know I am where I belong!

Work aside, my personal life is a joke.. I think that is why I get lost in my work, so I don't have to face myself.. But anyway.. I'm also fumbling down that path gradually. But today, as I was leaving the gym this morning, on my way to work, I saw a friend from my church, whom I haven't seen for a while, so I went to give her a hug, as I usually do.. I didn't say anything, and neither did she, but something wasn't right.. She was upset.. At this point I still don't know what it is that is upsetting her.. But we cried together.. I don't know why, but we did.. Then I did something pretty weird, which surprised her just as much as myself.. I prayed for her, in the gym, with a bunch of sweaty knuckle-heads "pumping iron" around us.. But it didn't matter. I knew she needed it, but what I didn't know was that I did too..

That's the second time this week that I have just prayed. Not thought things through, not said something encouraging, not made a plan like I usually do. I just prayed.. And you know what, I hope it happens again, because it feels like I've made a new friend! I finally feel like there is someone I can confide in no matter what! All my silly little problems, all the things I don't want to discuss with anyone else right now.

What's my point? Don't be afraid to pray. Even if it's just a casual chat with God, or some quiet time, or just in your head.. Just spell out whats on your mind, and on your heart. Someone is listening.. And do me a favour, hug someone. I don't mean a random stranger, (that might not go down too well,) but if you see someone who looks like they need it, just give them a hug! I promise it will make a difference, to them, and to you.. It's the best way of showing a bit of love. Ooooh, that's a strong word.. Yeah it is, but it's a gift, given to us by God for one purpose, to share! Because his love for us is unconditional, and infinite, so you can afford to give a bit away every now and then!

Part of the puzzle..

Why is it so hard to fit in? As human beings we often find ourselves longing to be a part of something.. Something bigger, something better... For a fortunate few, it is easy.. It's easy to fit in. For others, it is a constant struggle to be accepted. Or is it a constant struggle to accept ourselves?

I'm back in that familiar territory again.. Back to feeling like I don't fit in.. On the surface it seems like every time I involve myself in anything, I bring my own special qualities, as is the case with any person. You have a talent or trait, for which you are accepted and appreciated.. But after a while the novelty wares off, and your "special something" just becomes something that you do, or something you are. All of a sudden it goes from being appreciated, to expected, and then taken for granted. By the end, it (you) are completely overlooked. So now I've got that feeling again... Just like back in school, at home, or where I used to work.. Trying so hard to fit in, by just being me.. Not pretending, just being the "odd-ball".

Some people accept you for who you are, whilst others expect you to conform to their standards and way of life before you can fit in. It is only then that we are really tested.. God made us in His image.. So... in order to fit in, are we willing to change who we are, how we were created, just to be accepted? From someone who has always had a hard time fitting in, sometimes that doesn't sound like a bad idea... Change your style or your sense of humour to be noticed and accepted? No big deal...

But it is a big deal.. God made me the way I am. I was raised a certain way, and I believe in what I believe, because I know it is right. Deep down, something inside of me will not change.. This is who I am.. One thing I know is that it is impossible to be accepted, or to be loved, or even to be able to love.. if you are unable to accept and love yourself. I guess that's where I fall short.. You cannot be accepted, by your friends, your family, or anyone else, if you cannot accept yourself, and accept that you were made the way you are, and that you don't fit in perfectly, because if you did, you wouldn't stick out.. And if you do not stick out, you will never be noticed.. How tragic would it be if an amazing, unique piece of God's work went un-noticed by the world?? If anyone can ever derive anything from this, just be yourself.

Don't try and be special, you are special, so just be exactly that! Now to try and practise what I preach..